Marriage and Divorce in the Catholic Church

 

Marriages are made in heaven they say, but they have to be lived on earth. And for many youth, marriage becomes an automatic choice after they begin to settle down in their career. Unfortunately, over the past few years, marriages are failing at quite an alarming rate and this is no longer only a phenomenon in western countries. Although there are a variety of reasons for this, one important factor is that young couples get married without fully understanding the sacrament of matrimony and the teachings of the Church. The situation is similar to downloading an app on your phone – you just click I Accept for the terms and conditions without actually reading them.

The views presented here are from the perspective of the Latin Rite referring to the 1983 CODE OF CANON LAW also called CIC. Although the Eastern Catholic Churches like the Syro Malabar and Syro Malankara follow a different code i.e. the Code of Canons of the Eastern Churches i.e. CCEO, the essential elements are similar to the Latin Code except for a few differences. 

We all are aware that couples are required to go to a civil court and officially register their marriage. So how is a marriage according to the church different from a court marriage? 

A Marriage between two baptized is raised to the dignity of a Sacrament. However, a marriage between a baptized Catholic and a non-baptised is termed as Disparity of Cult marriage. It is valid but non-sacramental marriage.  

An important feature of a marriage is that it is a Covenant and not a mere contract. All through the Bible, God’s relationship with mankind is expressed in terms of a covenant, a solemn treaty of love and fidelity which God makes with his people. The ritual of making or cutting a covenant involved cutting an animal in two and walking between the severed pieces signifying that a person was pledging their very life to fulfil their promise. 

By the covenant made with the people of Israel, God pledges himself irrevocably to love his people and never to desert them. They in turn are asked to pledge themselves to him with the same covenant. The idea of the covenant also reminds us that like God’s love, marital love is unconditional and unchanging. In a contract, if one of the parties breaks a contract the other is free to renounce it but not so in marriage. In a marriage covenant, even if one of the parties does not live up to the commitment the other is not free to break the marital bond. Marriage being a covenant thus goes beyond the rights and responsibilities guaranteed by a contract and provides a stronger, sacred framework for marriage.

There are three essential elements or purposes of a marriage. First, it involves the well-being of spouses or (bonum coniugum). Second, it is ordered for procreation and upbringing of children or (bonum prolis) and third, it is a partnership for the whole life or (bonum sacramenti). The two essential properties of marriage are unity and fidelity and indissolubility. Unity refers to the exclusive and faithful relationship between a man and a woman. A man can have only one wife and a woman can have only one husband. “Indissolubility” refers to the fact that true marriage cannot be broken as long as both partners are alive. It means that the marriage can’t be dissolved at one’s will or with the mutual consensus of the couple. A marriage is dissolved only through the death of one of the parties.

This in a nutshell is the basic understanding of marriage. Having considered what a marriage is supposed to be, we must also accept that many times things go downhill. At times the couple just cannot adjust to each other, at other times it’s a case of infidelity or sometimes even domestic violence. What provisions does the church provide in these cases?

It is important to state that in the Catholic Church, there is no divorce. Divorce understood as the dissolution of a marriage is not possible between two baptized persons whose marriage is legal and valid. This teaching is based on the teachings of Jesus in the Bible “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” (Mt 19:16)

Additionally in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, we find the following teachings:

2384 - Divorce is a grave offense against the natural law…Divorce does injury to the covenant of salvation, of which sacramental marriage is the sign.

2385 - Divorce is immoral also because it introduces disorder into the family and into society…

The church however does permit the annulment of marriage or separation. So what's the difference between these and divorce?

A Divorce is an attempt to break the marriage bond whereas separation is the cessation of common conjugal living between the spouses. The term annulment refers to an official statement by the appropriate Tribunal of the Catholic church that what appeared to be a marriage was in fact not a valid marriage. An annulment is a church’s declaration that the union was invalid from the moment the couple exchanged consent. It means that the relationship fell short of at least one of the essential elements for the binding union.

So what are these essential conditions for a marriage to be valid? There are three conditions. First is the Matrimonial consent of the person. Consent essentially means a person who is legally capable and psychologically sound is agreeing to get married out of free will without any fear or compulsion.

The second condition is that the person must be free from any impediments. An impediment is that which takes away a person's legal capacity to enter a valid marriage. A diriment impediment destroys or annuls the marriage if attempted without proper dispensation. In the CIC there are 12 impediments (Can. 1083-1094) namely,

1. Not having completed the minimum age for marriage

2. Antecedent and perpetual impotence

3. A person bound by the bond of a prior marriage

4. Disparity of cult i.e. marriage between a baptized and a non baptized

5. One who is a priest invalidly attempts marriage

6. Those bound by a public perpetual vow of chastity in a religious institute invalidly attempt marriage

7. Abduction or detention with a view of contracting marriage

8. Crime which refers to bringing about the death of one’s own spouse or the spouse of the other to enter marriage

9. Marriages related to consanguinity which refers to one’s own blood relations

10. Marriages related to affinity refer to relationships which arise from a valid marriage e.g. mother-in-law.

11. Public propriety which refers to marriage related to public concubinage

12. A relationship which arises due to Adoption.

 

The last condition for a marriage to be valid is that there must be a proper canonical form which requires that the marriage is contracted before the bishop, a priest or deacon and before two witnesses. 

If these 3 conditions viz. marital consent, freedom from impediment and canonical form are present, then the marriage is valid. In other words, to seek the annulment of a marriage, it has to be proven that either the marital consent was defective or there was an impediment which was not dispensed or the proper canonical form was not followed. 

Yet there are some situations in which living together becomes practically impossible for a variety of reasons. If, because of adultery or physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, the safety, health, or sanity of a spouse or the children are in jeopardy, separation may be a temporary, appropriate, or even mandatory solution. In such cases, the Church permits the physical separation of the couple and their living apart. The spouses do not cease to be husband and wife before God and so are not free to contract a new union. In this difficult situation, every possible effort to reconcile must be made. The Christian community is called to help these persons live out their situation in a Christian manner and in fidelity to their marriage bond which remains indissoluble.

This is a brief overview of the Catholic Church’s understanding of marriage and the provisions regarding the annulment of marriage or separation. However, for a complete understanding of all the nuances involved in this issue, you must consult a priest at your parish or at the bishop’s house in your diocese.

Priests and sisters who choose religious life, have a training period of anywhere between 6- 12 years. How much training do our young people receive before getting married? Formal catechism classes end with confirmation which is generally received at the age of 16 or 17. And if a person is not involved in the church youth group the only training that will be received is a short marriage preparation course just before getting married. This is a lacuna which must be addressed by the church.

In conclusion, I would say to those of you who are thinking of getting married, let it not be a default choice, rather, let it be a conscious and well-informed decision. A decision to enter into a covenant for a lifetime. I pray that young people may be blessed with the gift of a discerning mind and heart to choose their vocation in life. Take care and God bless.